Family Confessions

There are certain aspects of a person's life ,which forever remain buried under the veneer of daily chores. I have never expressed a lot of my emotions in public as it gets tedious on the listener, who might himself feel embarrassed by the display.

Last year was the hardest year of my life so far. The reason for it being tough were manifold , if a person really believes that bad luck can be a consistent phenomenon than it really wrenched its maximum out of me in 2006. I lost my father in December 06 , that in itself was grief that I have not fully reconciled to even now.

What hurt me most was that a proper healthy man got suddenly paralysed with an unexplainable illness , he had to immediately be shifted to Delhi for Medical treatment. The treatment in itself took a toll on his body and perhaps weakened by it he passed away in December last year. It is not perhaps a one in a million case but what about the apathy that the fellow blood relatives can show on an emotional and sensitive man ?

I would not like to go into details but some of my fathers closest kith and kin showed 'exemplary arrogance' when all he required was their emotional support.People forgot how my father risked his own health so that one of his nephews could be married off in great style when his father was languishing in a hospital ICU. I only expect people who are intellectually and emotionally bankrupt to indulge in this kind of apathy when their own Kin lies on his deathbed.

A few exceptions notwithstanding ---and they being very few indeed, both my parents faced this calamity on their own. My brother and I had to go through intense emotional distress seeing our father in physical and mental pain. Why did this happen to a selfless man who cared much for his relatives and even for people who looked up to him as an elder guide ?

The answer is not shrouded in some metaphysical explanation , it is brutually and obscenely obvious to the casual observer. 'Convenience' , yes! that most benign of all words is behind this emotional bankruptcy. Most of our relatives were firmly ensconed in their convenient lifestyles and would always want to stay away from the cauldron of trouble that was brewing in our home. Nobody has the time to be the soothing balm on my family's tormented heart. I do not grudge these people , they do not want to get themselves embroiled in such 'Mundane' matters. They are people for whom an honest day's work is an anomaly. They are people who begrudge anybody's growth . So the point emerges, run away in distress but be present in joy.

I on my part have become immune to the sorrows of certain people today. I can't be an emotionless mannequin for I have my father's noble blood in my veins. However I also know that hatred and vengeance are a human trait and much as I can't go into the medieval times and obliterate my foes. I can still show cold blooded indifference to the plight of some of my relatives.

I ask myself a pertinent question, has something in me died with my father? Yes! for I am no longer the same carefree youth. I now belive in fighting for one's rights and fight I will with anybody who gets in my family's rights. I will not tolerate any nonsensical interference in my family matters and would happily go into a war for my parents rights.

This post is not a guide in revenge and hatred. It is a guide to the putrescent--decadent mask that our relationships have come up to.

Star Kids and Nepotism

If one brouses through film channels , all you get to see are the promos of new 'big releases like Saawariya and Om Shanti Om showing . Even channels like NDTV are not immune to this malaise by showing an increasingly emaciated SRK and an obnoxious Farah Khan extolling the virtues of their Magnum Opus. I do not have a problem with movies and national news existing side by side but there has to be a line drawn somewhere.

One aspect which shouts glaringly is,why we in India are subject to intense media hype about the next big film debut. Are we as a country and society so decrepit,so devoid of talent that we have to face the ignominy of one 'Great ' star kid launch or the other. When you listen to the interviews of one Mr. Bhansali about his great desire to work with newcomers , why are the newcomers----offsprings of filmstars?

I have nothing against children of filmstars trying to become stars , however this meansthat the 'Acting Gene' is automatically passed on by the parents to their kids.
It means that rest of the people struggling in the industry belong to a lesser God !
It means that Indians should not really crib about 'nepotism' for it exists in its most sycophantic and decadent way in its greatest entertainment medium.

Who am I to crib about this?when our 'great' filmmakers know what they are doing . Why should I crib when the great Mr. Bhansali knows what is right for the classes and the masses.Well! you can't expect more from a man who makes a 'Farcical Melodrama ' like Black and gets labelled as the next 'David Lean ' of Indian Cinema.

A Man who made a caricature of Amitabh and made him act over dramatically. Anyway I don't think that Mr. Bhansali is a bad filmmaker but he is certainly a melodramatic and overrated one.Coming back to Star Kids , I have not seen sons or daughters of great actors in the west becoming sensations overnight. A Michael Douglas or a Nicholas cage are exceptions but nobody would doubt their credentials as actors of merit.

Now whom do we have in India , I would not like to take names but most of the breed is mediocre while some are downright appalling.An Abhishek Bacchan is lionised for his performance in 'Guru' while a KK menon or Pankaj Kapur just get a passing mention.(In Black Friday and Dharm respectively).Why so these rich kids have to make a foray into films to prove their worth, I believe the answer itself lies in riches,these people are used to a certain standard of living and after 'Dad' retires or reaches the twilight of his career , this "precociusly" talented breed knows that they must find a similarly high paying job to maintain themselves.

Is this breed really as talented as their illustrious parents? if you look at our film industry than it means any actor's child is a born genius in the league of his own. If this adage is true than take its parrallel in this country's other opium 'Cricket'. 'Sunny Gavaskar's ' son should have been as talented as his father, this also means that Sachin's son would also be a great batsman simply due to his fathers genes.

'Sadly' in life such an occurence is rare and rather fanciful.I have no grudge against people earning money due to their lineage but life is cruel and the spirit of competition should be encouraged and fostered. Our public is as much to blame for making mediocrity shine in India , for the masses encumbered and crushed by life's hardships find solace in three hours of banality propagated by somebody born with a proverbial silver spoon. Clearly irony can't have a more sordid face.

I as a middle class Indian have no rights to speak against banality , however surely something in our collective conscience should point out towards reality and not myth.